So you’ve done it! Against odds similar to that of being canonised, you’ve won the jackpot.
But how does one stay causal when one has enough money to use the pronoun ‘one’ in cold blood? Luckily, the guru is here to help.
- Keep your day job! Too many winners resign just to crawl back to their janitor’s mop once funds dry up. Keep working, but make it obvious you don’t need to. Do as little work as possible, and spend all day complaining you hate your job. For most of you, this will mean business as normal.
- Go on a Butlins family holiday with your nanny and entourage.
Think diamond in the rough. Buy brand-name tracksuits, heavy gold earrings, or a large amplifier for your Ford Mondeo. Surround yourself with items that brag “I’m rich, but I’m not going to brag about it.”- As your free time will be spent spending money, get your butler to keep you updated on the plot twists in your favourite soaps. This way you can still join in the gossip with 'the commons' around the water cooler.
- Spend one day a year visiting the poorer districts of Monte Carlo
- Live the same as before hitting the jackpot, but more expensively. Smoke a stronger strain of weed, drink imported German beer from chipped pint glasses, and when yelling at your illegitimate (but charming) children use expensive swear words, like ‘bugger' and 'damnation.'
- Always be aware of the price of milk.
- Don’t give anything to charity; the good vibes gained from buying new possessions last much longer, and will win you more respect from your friends.
Marcus
Read part 1 of this post - Guaranteed ways to win the lottery.
Do you have any tips for my Pilgrim? Comment and let me know!
Do you have a question needing an Answer? Ask the Guru and the answers will come!
Do you have any tips for my Pilgrim? Comment and let me know!
Do you have a question needing an Answer? Ask the Guru and the answers will come!
- Previous Questions to the Guru
- Part 1 - How to win the Lottery
- Will Stacey be allowed to come tomorrow?
- Why do ducks sleep on one leg?
