Slightly Unbalanced Duck Tails

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2423593840360177626.post-57571308803287500092008-03-22T00:00:00.007Z2008-03-26T18:13:30.768ZSlightly Unbalanced Duck Tails<div class="asktheguru">Dear Guru<br /><br />Why do ducks tuck up one leg when sleeping?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.autolycus-london.blogspot.com">Autolycus</a></div><br /><p class="openparagraph">Birds! Don’t get me started! Everyone thinks birds are beautiful, graceful creatures. They glide on a few air currents or sing at first light and get songs or poetry written about them. But they become somewhat less poetic when I'm meditating on top of a 15 foot pole and they use me as a perch. During mating season, I had bits of twig and straw in my hair for weeks.<br /><br /><a title="www.wonderquest.com - Left foot in, left foot out" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_GVsVdk__XXc/R-TXVxVWHkI/AAAAAAAAAc8/m7lGyIkkQ7I/s1600-h/fig-ducks-on-one-foot.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_GVsVdk__XXc/R-TXVxVWHkI/AAAAAAAAAc8/m7lGyIkkQ7I/s200/fig-ducks-on-one-foot.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5180502240403004994" border="0" /></a>Ducks are the worst of all. They beguile children to give them bread with cute stories about turning into swans, and then they excrete all over the banks of lakes and rivers, causing innocent children to fall in. They cover their wings in water droplets and then shake them dry, soaking innocent bystanders. And when innocent Guru’s are blissfully meditating on the infinite, ducks fly up next to them and squawk loudly in their ear. Being shocked is never a good thing, but it's somewhat worse when you're delicately balanced on a pole 15 foot above the ground.<br /><br />I get my revenge however. Because their legs and feet have 3 times more blood running through them than the flying muscles do, ducks tuck a leg into their feathers when they sleep to conserve heat. Luckily for me, this makes them very unstable.<br /><br />Have you ever indulged in Duck Tipping? It helps keep me occupied during the early part of spring. Simply creep up to a sleeping duck and give them a quick nudge. Being nudged is never a good thing, but it becomes somewhat worse when you're delicately balanced, standing on one leg, on a perch 15 foot off the ground. <br /><br />There’s nothing quite as satisfying as a rudely awoken duck.<br /><br />Hope this helps.</p><br /><div class="sign">Marcus</div><div class="coda">Are you seeking wisdom? Save time, <a href="http://freelanceguru.co.uk/2008/02/ask-guru.html" title="The answer is just a click away">Ask the Guru</a>.<br />Or save even more time - <a href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/emailverifySubmit?feedId=1722045&loc=en_US" title="Wisdom to your inbox">Get the Guru By E-mail</a><br /><ul><li><a href="http://freelanceguru.co.uk/2008/03/love-anger-and-communism.html" title="Wherein we take a look at the lower end of the spectrum">Why do we link Red to Love and Anger</a></li><li><a href="http://freelanceguru.co.uk/2008/03/why-are-my-greetings-so-stupid.html" title="Where in I discuss the silliness of British Greetings">Why do we say Alright?</a></li><li><a href="http://freelanceguru.co.uk/2008/03/can-we-find-ultimate-happiness.html" title="Wherein I realise that we are all a bit Buddha">Can we find Ultimate Happiness</a></li></ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><div align='center'><div style='font-weight: bold; border:solid 3px #804000; margin:20px;Padding:5px;'> If you like this post, use the links below to tell your friends.<br/> Help enlighten the world!</div> <script type="text/javascript"> </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"> </script></div><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2423593840360177626-5757130880328750009?l=freelanceguru.co.uk'/></div>The Freelance Guruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02185521334184060191noreply@blogger.com16