Comments on The Freelance Guru: Slightly Unbalanced Duck Tails

Being so unkind to ducks is just daffy! Guru, the...

2008-04-01T13:06:00.000+01:00

Being so unkind to ducks is just daffy! Guru, they only squawk at you because they love you. Meditate on that!

Have you ever indulged in Duck Tipping?Cant Say Th...

2008-03-25T18:15:00.000Z

Have you ever indulged in Duck Tipping?

Cant Say That I Have.

We don't have any ducks around, but geese, and lot...

2008-03-25T12:40:00.000Z

We don't have any ducks around, but geese, and lots of them, have moved into the neighborhood. They are kind of mean!

Scarlet - Odd. I thought Bloom laid an egg with ...

2008-03-24T16:26:00.000Z

Scarlet - Odd. I thought Bloom laid an egg with every movie his ever been in.

Grimm - Your question has been noted and will be used against you at later date.

Say it -Presumably the bull has to watch out for the cow pats as well though. Slipping up when you're on four legs must be twice as scary.

If you want to piss something off, try bull tippin...

2008-03-24T13:38:00.000Z

If you want to piss something off, try bull tipping, only watch out for the cow patties as you run like hell out of the field. :)

Oh wise one, thank you for showing that ducks also...

2008-03-24T07:37:00.000Z

Oh wise one, thank you for showing that ducks also need the attention they deserve.

But please tell me why my car has become the bullseye for all bird droppings when it is not even close to a tree or building?

If you COULD lay an egg, what a showbiz career you...

2008-03-23T21:07:00.000Z

If you COULD lay an egg, what a showbiz career you would have!!

Certainly more entertaining than anything Orlando Bloom could do. (That useless block of wood actor that he is!!! The Thunderbirds have a better range than him.)

Scarlet - Ducks mate in the water, so as to educ...

2008-03-23T09:00:00.000Z

Scarlet - Ducks mate in the water, so as to educate children in sexual reproduction before their parents are ready to tell them. The bits of straw and twig where their attempts to build nests on my head. One duck actually went so far as to lay an egg. When it rolled of my head and hit my groin I very nearly did the same.

Michael - I have been forced to make certain modifictions to prevent this. All will be revealed...

And I bet you got pooped on... LOL!

2008-03-22T23:25:00.000Z

And I bet you got pooped on... LOL!

"During mating season, I had bits of twig and stra...

2008-03-22T23:14:00.000Z

"During mating season, I had bits of twig and straw in my hair for weeks."

So, mating ducks on your head didn't interrupt the meditation, just the twigs?

They'd need to have the silence of a ninja. Months...

2008-03-22T21:44:00.000Z

They'd need to have the silence of a ninja. Months of duck spotting has given me exceptional hearing...

You heartless guru, you. Just wait until someone d...

2008-03-22T18:00:00.000Z

You heartless guru, you. Just wait until someone does it to you.

Ally - What do you always do to get rid of rats?...

2008-03-22T17:01:00.000Z

Ally - What do you always do to get rid of rats? Call in the royal marine infantry.

Failing that, please see my previous answer.

i find your duck advise very sound. unfortunately...

2008-03-22T15:53:00.000Z

i find your duck advise very sound. unfortunately, we do not have that many ducks in my area. but, we do have an excess of the pigeons that poops all over the place and are generally a nuisance. what would you recommend as a solution?

Mr Bananas - Suicide

2008-03-22T11:56:00.000Z

Mr Bananas - Suicide

Parrots seem to keep both claws firmly on the bran...

2008-03-22T10:55:00.000Z

Parrots seem to keep both claws firmly on the branch when they're asleep. Putting a knob of gum on the beak is my preferred chastisement. I wonder what advice you'd have given The Ugly Duckling?